Stockport Council has issued a full apology following the omission of its staff training course to be able to deal with plunging helicopters pouring aviation fuel on surprised members of the public."
The almost affected employee's mother Pamela said. 'When I saw my son, who is a teaching assistant,and was was booked on fire marshall training, was able to watch the tragedy unfolding in London on Sky in the lunchbreak catch-up, I asked him how he could help further. 'Wearing a yellow flourescent vest' was hardly the answer I was hoping for, but on further inspection page 43 of the Council's manual just showed my ignorance and it is in-fact a mandatory requirement.'
The Council has now apologised and promised that any plunging helicopters will be in breach of health and safety regulations and should only land on the town centre if it is absolutely necessary but will be subject to 70p for the first 30 minutes and 75p per hour thereafter. After which they will be towed away, and impounded if they are cool enough to clamp.'