Until Christmas, Joe Ballard from Hatch Road, Norbury was like any adult male and used to love the smell of his own farts. "From the tiniest squeaker to the mega-ripper I really used to enjoy the experience, especially the odour but that all changed when I woke up on Boxing Day" he told our reporter. Mr Ballard in unsure why he dislikes the smell of his own farts now but thinks it may have to do with eating too many sprouts over the festive period. "I don't think I ate more (sprouts) than usual but from that time forward I've been repulsed by the smell of my trouser coughs. It's very upsetting. I feel so abnormal". His doctor is apparently baffled by the problem.
Mr Ballard has however discovered a plus side. "Last Thursday I was on the 7.13 from Norbury to London Victoria and it was packed...standing room only. Feeling some sphincter turbulence coming on I let out a silent but deadly. It was absolutely disgusting, I almost barfed. But to my surprise, those standing next to me started to smile in a satisfied, smug manner and the young lady behind me uttered a distinct "mmmmm". We're to be married in the summer". Joe tells us he's never been so popular and now has a full diary with total strangers inviting him to parties.
He's currently in negotiations with a scented candle manufacturer for his next career move.