A US Government spokesperson has again denied that the US Government are conducting secret high-altitude chemical spraying programmes over major US cities despite recent statistical evidence showing a correlation between the appearance of such "chemtrails" and the rapid and seemingly illogical explosion of belief in conspiracy theories.
"We firmly believe the US Government is spraying chemicals that make people believe in the most ridiculous conspiracy schemes", says Tanya Whicker-Knakk, spokeswoman for American People Against Government Conspiracies. "You honestly can't believe that normal, honest US citizens would genuinely believe that the 9-11 attacks were a inside job, or that the moon landings were staged, or that our President forged his own birth certificate - unless they have been influenced in some way, probably with hallucinogenic drugs dropped from high altitude. We're not talking about stupid people believing this nonsense, we're talking about your average American."
Official statistics do tend to support this view. Immediately after the Moon Landings in the late 60s and early 70s, there was almost no support for belief that it was faked. Yet twenty years later such belief is widespread, something that researchers believe is due to the possible spraying of hallucinogens over US cities during the 1980s. Again, after September 11, 2001, almost everyone accepted that Al Qaeda were responsible for this terrorist act. Only after a decade of further alleged government chemical spraying do people now start to believe that it may have been an inside job with a staged demolition.
Related studies have also shown a correlation between the increased sightings of 'chemtrails' in recent years and the popularity of Justin Bieber.
"Of course, we need to get to the real reason, what the real truth is they are trying to hide with these conspiracy theories", Whicker-Knakk asks, "We know for a fact that there aren't any UFOs at Area 51. But why make people believe there are? I personally think it's because Elvis is still hiding there."