To whom it may concern,
It is with deep regret that I am formally resigning for my position of BROWN BISCUIT IN A SANDWICH STYLE WITH A CHOCOLATE CREAM CENTRE for NewsBiscuit. This will be with immediate effect. I am having to take this action as a result of other biscuit based commitments I have.
It has been a pleasure working with some really interesting, nice and funny people on here, mixed with a healthy minority of humourless wankers (here's looking at you JohnA). Having a diverse culture of talent and knob is important in any workplace.
I have had some disagreements with some colleagues and feel I should apologise, but I won't because I was right (it's can be short for it has eg it has been lovely). It's been lovely
I wish you all the best for the future and ask that when shopping and you see a pack of bourbons, you stop and think of me, whilst punching the pack of custard creams in the shelf below
Mr Bourbon OBE (order of the biscuit empire)