A shocking series of photos released by the police shows the mortifying effects of Daily Mail addiction. In a series of before and after pictures, the horrific premature ageing of addicts is clearly demonstrated.
With a lowered brow, massive worry lines and torch bearing burn marks, the bad news junkies look decades older after a few weeks of surfing the headlines. Ordinary lower middle class readers, enticed by free offers of Spring tulip bulbs, are then forced to buy the paper while they collect enough tokens to take advantage of the promotion. Many move on to other seemingly harmless practices, like dipping into Martin Samuels sports column and Neil Ashton's football news. But these recreational hits seem to whet the user's appetite for something stronger and they move on to Ephraim Hardcastle. From here the escalation is rapid, with mainlining Richard Littlejohn the last stage before they descend into the sidebar of shame.
Some readers join torch bearing mobs in an attempt to deal with the corruscating effect of the paranoia that the Daily Mail can induce.
"I've seen it a hundred times," said one volunteer, who tries to speak to news junkies before they join torch bearing mobs, "people become old and cold and frightened before their time."