Good news! A super new kidz show will be hitting our screens shortly! “Robbie Makes Dreams Cum True” has been devised and will be presented by exciting new BBC discovery, entertainer Robbie Gilson.
Robbie loves kids so much so he spends almost every day hanging around outside his local primary school – just waiting for any chance he can get to “entertain” them. BBC commissioning editor Arthur Gullible discovered him there attempting to entice some passing children into his car, promising to show them his puppies. “Turns out he didn’t even have any puppies!” commented Gullible. “It was all just some kind of wacky prank!”
On hearing the news of his surprise commission Robbie, 56, said “I can’t wait to get started”. Dressed in his trademark colourful grey raincoat, his 1987 Mini Metro idling by the kerb, Robbie went on “I’m delighted – and surprised! – that the BBC has commissioned my show – I can’t wait to get my hands on them kids. On their dreams, I mean. Yeah, that’s it. Get my hands on their dreams”.
Remarked Gullible “Robbie is an hilarious, lovable eccentric and an ideal new member of the BBC family. “Robbie Makes Dreams Cum True” is a tremendous new addition to our schedules!”
But the final word goes to the Beeb’s new star: “When I’m famous I’m gonna cum all over them kids. Cum all over their dreams, I mean. Does that work? Oh, I dunno.
Basically, I’m a paedophile. Like Jimmy Saville”.