This year the official Most Depressing Day of the Year is January 21st. That's two days earlier than last year – so don't get caught out (imagine how bad that would feel) and make sure you send someone you really despise one of the special range of Blue Monday cards produced by Hallmark by January 17th (or the 19th for First Class, if you can be bothered and can afford it). In festive black, the cards feature touching verses such as
Roses are red
Violets are Blue
So are you
Oh what's the point in carrying on
Hallmark have announced they will be launching a full range of “downer” cards to mark other new Days in the British calendar such as Shit Tuesday, Worthless Wednesday, and Is-it-still-only-fucking-Thursday, just as soon as they can face it, which might be some time off.