“It was only ever meant to be a joke”, said God, making a face. “A prototype, a preliminary sketch, just something I scribbled on the back of a beermat. Somehow - and I still don’t know how it happened - it got through quality control and into production.
“We were faced with a number of logistical issues about where to site the waste-pipe and the fun-tunnel. These were the names we used on the first blueprints, assuming we’d come up with something more appropriate later. Wouldn’t it be funny, I thought, if we put them so close together that a man who’d had a few drinks might get them confused? Think of the potential for embarrassment, when he’s doing a fingertip search of a woman’s erogenous zones, to find anus and vagina separated by nothing more than the span of fumbling fingers and thumbs! Everyone around the table had a good laugh about that, though, looking back, they laughed at my jokes whether they were funny or not. I really was the head honcho in those days.
“To be honest, women were an afterthought. I’d put all my efforts into creating Adam, and the penis represented the leading edge of body-part design. The hydraulics are really quite advanced, you know. I wanted to make a good job of it, thinking he’d be spending a lot of time on his own. So when Adam told me that he was lonely, and that gardening wasn’t as much fun as he’d imagined, it came as quite a shock. It made sense, though, for him to have a mate, so I got straight to work.
“Making Eve out of one of Adam’s ribs was a brainwave, though I say so myself. Instead of starting from scratch, I could just modify the original design. The full lips, the hair, the hips: I was on a roll! Taking Adam’s needs into account, I envisaged the breasts as a tasty appetiser before the main course. And, taking my design inspiration from a dead heat in a Zeppelin race, I think I did a pretty good job there.”
God shook his head. “I tried my best”, He said, “but sometimes it seems like men are from one planet and women from another. I made sure they spoke the same language, but, well...” God’s words trailed off, as He appeared to be lost in thought.
God leaned back in His chair, finally, and smiled. “Vagina? Anus? You know, it still makes me laugh”...