In a shock announcement, Bernie Ecclestone has ditched Brazilian beauty Fabiana Flosi and is to marry a woman his own age.
82 year old Rolls Royce engineer, Mabel Dawson, who was controversially pictured with Ecclestone drinking cocoa and sucking on custard creams at the Grosvenor Hotel last week, is, according to an F1 spokesman, “A long term shag of the F1 Supremo.”
In an exclusive interview Ecclestone said, “I met Mabel for the first time in 1949. She’d just broken down in her Triumph Mayflower and was down on her knees syphoning the petrol from a council lawnmower. It was love at first sight. She had the kind of lip action I’ve never ever experienced since, even in the Kit-Kat club in Berlin. Now, if I just get one whiff of leather and high octane my big end goes. Our bones just seem to fit.”
Fabiana Flosi’s agent released the following statement, “Ms Flosi is sorry to say that she cannot compete with ‘a third person in her marriage’. Orally, anally and missionarally Ms Dawson wins hands down - and hands down too.”
The Brazilian beauty is now looking forward to an amicable settlement and some decent, rampant, hot and wet sex.
Ms Dawson was unavailable for interview due to work commitments but according to sources she is enthusiastic about tying the knot with the sports billionaire.
“On a scale of one to ten about how positive I am of having a future with him, along with some greasy bum sex, I hope it’s ten – but the ugly little sprog eyed sprite could hang on for years.”
Hat-tip to Dawsons creek