With Freddie Starr and Jim Davidson being questioned by the police, a search of the nation’s golf courses is turning up a number of other suspects in the Savile affair. Arthur ‘Toxic’ Malone, taken into custody today, has never hidden his liking for young girls. In fact, all that’s written on his business card is ‘Your place or mine? “The man’s a public menace”, said PC Harrison, the arresting officer. “Even his laugh is infectious”.
So it was only a matter of time before Arthur joined the other ‘old school’ comics in having to explain what the hell he was doing between January 7th, 1974 and a week last Wednesday. Asked why he had taken part in the infamous Brinks-Mat robbery, back in 1983, Arthur said “Comedy gold, son. Comedy gold”. When Harrison asked if that was his idea of a joke, all Arthur could offer in his defense was a knob gag. “This is my night off”, he explained, before hitting the floor like an ill-judged punchline...