After a trip to a branch of Sainsbury's in 'colonial Kidderminster', a tribal leader from a Jungle in Botswana has pledged to offer his people a form of anti-camouflage similar to that seen on a middle-aged man in the supermarket.
'I saw the man wearing a camouflage jacket clearly designed to make him blend in to shrubbery' the leader explained, 'but the closest it came to working was when he stood to close to the Broccoli. I couldn't help but think he was either sent shopping by the SAS or he was trying to make a fashion statement. Owing to the fact the only 'Wings' he had earned were of the bingo variety, I'm guessing it was the latter'
The new tribal jacket has been designed to provide camouflage to the wearer in a supermarket with tins of beans, loaves of bread, and bags of cat litter printed over the garment. 'Initially we found it odd wearing something so obviously designed for a different environment, but we have grown like it' he continued, 'especially the new ritual of beating with mops when I announce a spillage in aisle 3'