Tracey Emin has been recognised with a CBE in the New Year honours list, continuing a long tradition of honouring people who, by definition, have been handsomely rewarded already. According to the citation, the charmless artist is being honoured for her services to the self-promotion business, with special mention of her “getting pissed and being gobby with it”.
Her most celebrated piece - A Note To The Milkman - assured her not merely of notoriety in artistic circles, but also succeeded in its primary aim of getting her milkman to leave two extra pints and a pot of yoghurt. A work of juvenalia - Shopping List - offered tantalising hints of the major oeuvre that was to come.
Ms Emin has encouraged other talentless ‘artists’ to exhibit unmade beds, dirty underwear and unwashed pots, leading to a student bedsit in Coventry being designated a West Midland annexe of the Tate Gallery.
In her acceptance speech an emotional Ms Emin told the gentlemen of the press to “fuck off”, before falling off the stage...