Doctors at London’s Royal Free Hospital have today confirmed the case of a 14 year old girl whose left arm is growing from the side of her head.
Leanne Gomez, from Highgate in North London, was until last year a normal happy-go-lucky child whose life formed a backdrop for mobile phone conversations. Her parents say that earlier this year the fingertips of her left hand began to sprout tendrils, and then one morning she awoke to find her hand had taken root around her ear.
Reluctant to operate until they had observed her for longer, doctors were amazed when a month later the arm dislodged completely from the shoulder and then began to grow rudimentary fingers from the free end. Leanne says she feels no pain and as long as she keeps the arm in her clothes she looks perfectly normal.
Having a vestigial hand permanently cupped around her ear has advantages. Leanne particularly likes the way it holds her mobile in place effortlessly while leaving two hands free for Facebook. And while it can make some clothes look odd, the new hand is useful for awkward zips and scratching her back.
Scientists predict that if the mutation replicates itself there could be a resurgence in folk singing, and older people will find they hear conversations more easily. While scientists see this as proof of the continuing evolution of the human race, creationists disagree.
‘I always said that if God meant us to use cellphones all the time He’d have given us a third hand to hold it in place,’ said Kansas preacher Patience Jobs, ‘and now He has given us this sign. I have doubled my congregation and income by selling phones to use in church, although I sometimes yearn for the old days when we all worshipped as a family.’
Other human adaptations to technology are expected, but reports involving boys with game controllers in their laps have so far proved to have other more mundane explanations.