In the beginning physicists created a new earth and a new heaven using sound scientific principles and the Large Hadron Collider (LHC).
And the new earth was without form, but they agreed that a spherical shape would probably work best.
And Thomas Edison said, Let there be light and there was light. And he called the light ‘On’, and the darkness he called ‘Off’.
And the Archbishop of Canterbury said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters.
And Cern scientists said “What the…?!?” But the Archbishop made the firmament anyway, and it was so; but not so with everybody…
And Scientists called the firmament “Heaven, if you really must believe in all that mumbo jumbo”.
And David Attenborough said, Let the waters be gathered together unto one place, and let the dry land appear: and it was so.
And Alan Titchmarsh called the dry land Earth; and Jacques Cousteau called the gathering together of the waters Seas. “Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit, whose seed is in itself, upon the earth. “ And it was so.
And The Met Office said, Let there be lights to divide the day from the night; and let them be for signs, and for seasons, and for days, and years:
And the LHC made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night. Meanwhile North Korean Scientists continued to work on a third great light.
And Charles Darwin said, Let the waters bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life.
And physicists created great whales, and every living creature and every winged fowl: and Japanese whalers and Colonel Sanders saw that it was good.
And Darwin said, Let the earth bring forth the living creature, cattle, and beast of the earth and Ronald McDonald saw that it was good.
And test tube scientists made the beast of the earth with the help of a bit of cloning.
And The Smurfs said, ‘Let us make man in our image, and let him have dominion over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth’.
But Cern Scientists putteth their foot down and created man in their own image, in the image of Professor Brian Cox created they him; male and female created they them.
And Tony Blair blessed them, and said unto them, “Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it along with George W. Bush so that we have dominion over every living thing that moveth upon the earth”.
And Alan Titchmarsh said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; and it shall be for meat unless thou art a Vegan.
And, after the sixth day Stephen Hawking saw everything that they had made, and, behold, it was very good. Thus he said, “Now…please…go…and…have…a...little…rest.”