Manchester police have been heavily criticised after refusing to act on a tip-off about a marmalade theft. Instead, the 'Peelers' dismissed the warning as a hoax, which ultimately led to a disappointing breakfast.
"We apologise to the victims of this crime and promise to send a jam sandwich in future", said PC Golding. "Starting the day with an adequate police response shouldn't be the 'preserve' of the rich."
Detectives are currently investigating a hoard of stolen breakfast ingredients at a Little Chef in Cheadle. When officers arrived, staff said 'they could definitely smell bacon.'