A vote to introduce the hunting of homosexuals with dogs may not happen until 2013 at the earliest warns Environment Secretary Owen Paterson.
A move to repeal the ban on hunting foxes was shelved by the Tory led coalition after the Countryside Alliance came up with an even better and ultimately more rewarding solution to their blood letting needs.
A spokesman for the Alliance said there was still an appetite amongst its members for hunting on horseback and that the gay offered a perfect, ready-made alternative to the fox.
‘Although the countryside is not their natural habitat they give off a strong smell of fear and have a long history of being hunted down and kept in cages.....gays would be perfect’ said hunt master Barney Sumner
The call to introduce the hunting of gays with dogs was backed by the Archbishop of Westminster who agreed it offered ‘the most effective way to rid the country of disease-ridden vermin’ and needed to be looked at.
The Archbishop said he agreed there was no acceptable place for animal cruelty in a civilised society but added there was no place for gays either.
Since 2005 hunts have been forced to adopt techniques such as ‘drag hunting’ in which stable lads have been forced to dress up as lady-boys and given 5 minutes head start before the master sets the dogs loose on them. But fleeing for your life across a muddy field in silk sarong and stilettos with mascara running down your face offered little challenge to an experienced horsemen and an alternative victim was sought.
‘Let’s face it, people in the country were hunting gays long before they came up with the fox idea’ added Sumner ‘it’s not like it will be something new’
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Gays in pro-hunting move
(8 posts) (7 voices)
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Posted 4 months ago #
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...and as for female gays that want to be bishops.
Posted 4 months ago # -
I like the idea of drag hunting but the rest is a little flat
Posted 4 months ago # -
Brilliant, written with feeling.
Could add to it, though, with more sterotypes & slang. Such as "shooting Badgers on sight", being chased by bitches, etc
Posted 4 months ago # -
The headline confused me at first with gays hunting for prostitutes, then you put my mind completely at rest..
Posted 4 months ago # -
Is that the guitarist out of Joy Division I see in there?
Posted 4 months ago # -
What happened, did this sub disappear without trace ?
The title could be less ambiguous, but the content is worthy of FP, IMO.Posted 4 months ago # -
Excellent.
Posted 4 months ago #
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