And if your relatives piss you off this Christmas...
Deck the fuckers.
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Merry Christmas one and all...
(42 posts) (26 voices)
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Merry biscuits, one and all!
Posted 8 years ago # -
I'll never trust those bastard Mayans again. Now have had to do all my Christmas shopping in a non-apocalyptic frenzy today. Although in fairness, if I kill my mother over Xmas, no harm, no foul, right? She got an extra weekend after all.
Happy celebrations, no matter which pagan festival you have reclaimed - here's to a tasty 2013 xxx
Posted 8 years ago # -
Happy merry everybody, let me be the first to JAGER BOMBS! WHOOOOOOO!
Posted 8 years ago # -
We should have a big NB piss up in the new year. But not in London, because lots of us don't live in London. And not anywhere else, because must of us don't live there either. We should have it somewhere near my house, so I don't have to travel...
Fuck me, the queue at the bar has got a bit long, don't these people have family to go to?
Posted 8 years ago # -
Seasonal Merriment to one and all. I pop in here to read all your smartfunny and it invariably cheers my day immensely.
Good cheer to you all. Dvo, take a break from going round telling infants that Santa ain't real, and try to pitch in too.
Now, someone's got to tackle the port and stilton left out for Santa...
Posted 8 years ago # -
And a happy lesbian Christmas from me and my super hot Japanese girlfriend Akiko.
Posted 8 years ago # -
Merry Christmas all. Bugger Santa, I'll leave a warm mince pie and a glass of something nice out for all the Biscuits.
...if I am asleep when you all turn up, the rest of the mince pies and booze are in the kitchen corner cupboard between the fridge and washing machine.
Posted 8 years ago # -
Err, sorry folks, I thought he was a burglar. My best malt to the back of the head. What a waste of fine Glenmorangie. Anyone know what reindeer like to eat, there's 8 of the fuckers on my lawn ?
Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and sorry about the pressies.
Oops.
Posted 8 years ago # -
Messy Clitoris to Sugar and Akiko.
Good will to all those others in my favour (my favourite seasonal pedantic biblical misquote).
Posted 8 years ago # -
@Charlie's Hat - thank you for the thoughtful greeting! I'll be taking my super hot Japanese girlfriend Akiko round to my family's later, and as we have done in recent years, I expect we will end up playing golf on the Wii with Steve, a balding slightly overweight neighbour we sometimes include in our fun and games, but attaching the controllers securely to our wrists so we don't accidentally fling them across the room this time.
As I was soaping up Akiko's firm D-cup breasts in the shower this morning, after an extended Christmas lesbian love making session, I remarked that this is probably the only time of the year that we will find ourselves shouting at Nan to "get her strap on if she wants to join us in a foursome."
Posted 8 years ago # -
I am currently wearing one of two Christmas 'onesies' I received.
Both are sheep.And tomorrow, I shall be fitting my new dog-guard to the boot of my car...
Merry Christmas indeed.
Posted 8 years ago #
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