Garages across Britain are being instructed to disable their air hose systems as a reaction to the lack of dry weather. The government hasn't ruled out rationing, with people being restricted to only breathing during the night, and only with very shallow breaths at that.
A government spokesman explained; "It's simple prudence; we've limited air reserves so in the current environment of lack of dry air, it's sensible to conserve our resources." When asked when the restrictions might be lifted, he responded. "Don't hold your breath. I mean that, don't hold your breath, or you'll be severely punished."