Former BBC presenter and total barmpot, David Icke, is back in the news and this time your guess is as good as mine. Icke, one half of the iconic River Deep Mountain High, sixties singing sensations, said last night.
"There's an old boy who lives down my road, right? He tells everybody that his name's George Bulstrode and that he's a retired coal miner but it's all a scam. He's really Zorgbat from a galaxy far, far away. He's a sleeper here awaiting activation by his controller and woe betide mankind the day that happens"
Icke would not elaborate on his extraordinary claims but suggested that anybody who sees anything that looks 'a bit odd' should contact Starfleet at once and give them all the relevant particulars.
Icke is not the only high-profile presenter to succumb to the pressures of life on the box and go bonkers. Pint-sized Geordie duo, Ant and Dec, who were once lovely lads, saw the rigours of the job cause them to become embroiled in ripping off the public in a tawdry premium phone line scam, and although unlike Icke, they haven't quit, they have certainly looked very shifty on camera ever since. Ant, named after a creepy-crawly, and Dec, named after the popular yuletide month, were not availble for comment but a spokesman for their solicitor, Haddaway, Mann & Balls, released the following statement.
"Why aye man, wor lads divvin't ger inverlved in scams an tha. Nee way man pet man!"