Park rangers at Yellowstone Park have asked campers to take their rubbish home with them, rather than tucking it into the folds of slumbering animals.
“These animals are bloody expensive, and maintaining them is a nightmare”, complained Ranger Fred Dibley. “Clogging them full of crisp packets just makes our job harder.” Dibley says anyone who sees someone trying to stuff an old yoghurt pot in a chipmunk or ground squirrel should contact his office immediately.
“The orifices of hibernating animals should only be used to warm your hands, or heat up a thermos flask at a pinch”, decreed Dibley. “Waking up to find their fur covered in sweet wrappers can be very distressing for our largest omnivores: they pride themselves on being smarter than the average bear.”