Buckingham Palace announced today that HRH The Queen has interrupted her Christmas holiday at Sandringham and flown out to a high altitude training camp in Kenya.
A palace spokesman revealed that at this stage of the season, Her Majesty normally trains in the all-weather Sandringham gymnasium. “She always needs to be at her peak for the New Year's Honours ceremony,” explained Major Dick Fosdyke-Ffitch. But with post Olympic euphoria now expected to produce a bumper list of new knights and dames, fitness coaches have advised the Queen to undergo extra endurance training in order to withstand the extended ceremony.
“Her Majesty's magnificent PB was 27 knights and 15 dames in Harold Wilson's infamous Resignation Honours,” said Fosdyke-Ffitch. “But we're not entirely convinced that 40 years later she can still lift the sword up and down that amount of times. And with Bradley Wiggins, Ben Ainslie, Dave Brailsford, David Weir, Mo Farah, numerous LOCOG chiefs, various Liberal Democrat stooges and even ex-PM Gordon Brown - all queuing-up to get their shoulder tapped, we decided it was prudent to pump up her training schedule.
The Queen is expected to join double gold-medallist, Mo Farah, to complete a series of 10,000 metre runs at high altitude. Then it will be back for Christmas Day high-jinx at Sandringham - where Prince Philip is currently 2-1 favourite to win the early morning Walk to Church event.