School teachers are competing with each other to crush the human spirit in children, it was confirmed today.
The proof of the assumption we've all known about, was finally delivered today by the Court of PubliC Opinion and verified by an independent marketing agency. The most damning piece of heresay in the report says that school teachers, hell bent on destroying Britain, are deliberately giving prizes to all kids that take part in a game. Children as young as five are being told "Well done" when their lack of ball skills do not merit the praise.
"Every day, teachers are deliberately killing kids with kindness, and meanwhile we just have to sit back and take it," said one critic. "We're sleep walking into slavery and there's not a god damn thing we can do about it."
In one shocking incident, a boy is seen completely mis-controlling a pass and the ball trickles off for a throw in. Instead of barracking him, however, the extreme left wing football coach utters a sinister phrase, "Oh unlucky. Don't worry, head up son." With that one chilling phrase, telling the child not to worry about a terrible mistake, he is deliberately neutralising the competitive spirit and survival instincts of the next generation, say experts.
This outrage is part of a wider left wing conspiracy to weaken the resolve in the next generation by being nice to all kids that take part in games.
MORE LATER. I'M SUPPOSED TO BE WORKING