NASA's two gravity mapping satellites, each the size of a washer-dryer, are washer dryers, claims top conspiracy theorist Charles Ramsbottom III. Pointing to the similarity in weight and overall dimensions between the craft and the mid-priced Zanussi ZKG7165, Ramsbottom suggests the gravity maps 'claimed to have been beamed back' could have been derived from filter fluff that was scanned into Photoshop by the space agency's Department of Conspiracy Deployment (DCD). However the DCD denies any involvement.
Ramsbottom claims he wasn't at all surprised that the two domestic appliances crashed into a mountain range since the craft were equipped only with rudimentary wash cycle and spin speed controls. But NASA refutes the claim, adding that had the satellites really been brand new domestic appliances the agency would have made every attempt to return them to Earth while still under the manufacturer's warranty.
We asked Zanussi for a comment. But their service department said, "we'll try and get someone out, but it may be after Christmas now."