After the success of their spoof Armageddon calendar, Mayan Publishing Inc has gone back to its roots by releasing a sacrificial virgin calendar for 2013.
Mayan Publishing chief Manuel Zera said despite the high profile of the Armageddon calendar, it didn’t make much money: ‘Making it a 5125 year calendar was a blunder as by February 3113BC it was already in the 90% off bin at WH Smiths, along with the Jamie Oliver ‘Cooking with Fire’ DVD.’
Mr Zera said the sacrificial virgins in the 2013 calendar are not completely nude to avoid causing offence: ‘Each month has a scantily clad Mayan beauty tied to a rock as the gleaming dagger is about to be plunged into her belly in a tasteful balance of titillation and mutilation.’
‘And to appeal to Advent calendar loving children, there is a flap over each virgin’s belly that the kids can lift up to find a heart-shaped sweet’ said Mr Zera.
Mr Zera pointed out that like the Armageddon calendar, the 2013 offering shouldn’t be taken too literally: ‘Sure the calendar appears to show near naked virgins sacrificed to the God of Corn but this is modern day Mexico – most of the girls aren’t virgins.’
While initial sales of the new calendar have been surprisingly slow, Mr Zera hopes that sales will pick up after 21 December: ‘But if they don’t, it’s not like it’s the end of the world or anything’ said Mr Zera.
