Religious leaders were left baffled this morning as a pool of vomit containing what appeared to be a likeness of the face of Jesus was discovered just outside the main entrance of a local church. “We know it is Jesus” said a spokesperson “because it looks just like paintings of him done hundreds of years ago.”
Photos of the vomit have spread like wildfire around the globe, crashing websites as the story has become an internet and media sensation.
The Pope and Archbishop of Canterbury are said to be ‘very interested’ in this phenomenon, as it is so close to Christmas and are believed to have instructed PR experts to maximise publicity as a recruitment drive for Christianity.
On US national TV, President Obama said: “It’s a miracle, God bless America!”
Nobody appears to know how it got there, as the church hasn’t got CCTV, but our investigations revealed that within a 200 yard radius of the church are 27 bars, 3 nightclubs and 15 fast food takeaway outlets. The churchyard is also often used as a shortcut by late-night revellers to the local taxi rank, which experts believe could perhaps go some way to explaining the vomit. Explaining away the face of Jesus however is a totally different kettle of fish.
Richard Dawkins said: “Is this somebody’s idea of a sick joke? Christianity I mean.”