Management of the NewsBiscuit.com website are said to be 'Delighted' that its relocation to the Isle of Wight has 'Gone as smoothly as expected' and that 'The Isle has never seen such a reliable and performant server and networking infrastructure since Doris and Stan accidentally cut through their telephone line in 1956.'
Critics of the move to the Isle predicted that there was the risk of widespread technical failure resulting in unreliability because Arthur Gill,the only computer expert living on the Isle was familiar only with the BT 'One per desk' microcomputer and a 1976 Brother fax machine for which thermal paper stocks are running low.
'There were some initial teething problems' admitted NewsBiscuit bosses 'And these were exascerbated after Arthur decided to oil the server's motherboard to help the electrons move round a bit faster. The good thing was that the fire was contained and soon put-out with Arthur's garden hosepipe.'
After the fire, NewsBiscuit relied for several hours on its back-up system, which provided a limited service to a handful of Portsmouth residents. With the aid of binoculars, they were just able to discern a figure on a cliff top across the water, broadcasting the ticker-loop in semaphore.
'The new NewsBiscuit.com site is now operating well, and to ensure its reliability is now backed-up onto a C90 cassette every three months. Arthur's told us to not expect any more problems, in-fact he's made a sign saying this, which he is going to nail to the disk drive.'
Opponents of electric-powered typewriters and card punches on the island have threatened NewsBiscuit with a spam attack. sending NewsBiscuit HQ a paper-tape generated Telex stating 'We’ve got tins and tins of the stuff. STOP.'
