A small rafter of specially trained turkeys from the 'crack' 1st Norfolk Division has completed a daring pre-Christmas attack on the former home of Bernard Matthews, and have stolen his cremated remains, which were then fed to other turkeys.
The turkeys, led by Henry, a prize winning Bronze, from Norwich assembled a squad of five Whites and was assisted by two chickens and a duck in the daring raid. Three of the Whites created a commotion by pretending to fight amonst themselves to act as a decoy, allowing the two remaining Whites and their accomplices to raid Matthews' former home and liberate his ashes which were stored in a giant jar.
After the successful raid, Henry fed the ashes to the inmates on the Matthews' farm. Asked how the ashes tasted Henry could only think of one phrase in a tribute to the deceased head of the Matthews empire 'Like shit, which if had been honest would have replaced his bootiful comments about us.'
To honour the bravery of the turkeys, chickens and duck they will be decorated in a moving ceremony; with bacon, Parma ham and orange slices respectively.