Gay marriage supporters have thrown religious leaders into turmoil over claims that at least five gay weddings have gone ahead this year in a religious setting. One ceremony was even performed by the Archbishop of York himself who was oblivious to the fact that he was marrying members of the same sex.
Peter Jefferson, a Grimsby based gay activist said, “The solution was under our noses all along. The most feminine partner simply changes his name by deep poll to something more unisex like Charlie, Kim, Ashley or Vivien and gets a make-over by a local tranny. Then it’s a quick trip to Pronuptia for that all important wedding dress fitting and, it’s Bob’s your uncle, Charlie’s your aunt!”
Similarly, female partners have also been joined in holy matrimony with the butchest of the happy couple kitted out in full top hat and tails and, in some cases, a full beard. “False moustaches and beards are available for any lesbian who can’t grow her own,” said Peter Jefferson.
Dr Matthew Offord, MP for Hendon said, “This is an outrage. What next, choirs dressed as the Village People and the Women’s Institute amalgamating with the Gay Biker’s Association? This simply puts the Church into disrepute, besides which gays do not have a monopoly on cross dressing. Many decent hard working heterosexual men enjoy this pastime and this can only give it a bad name.”
One blissfully married gay couple who wished to remain anonymous said, “We were split between York Minster Cathedral or a quiet little ceremony in Easingwold until Justin had a bit of luck on the lottery. It was all that we could wish for, his tiara sparkled under all the candles and his train looked fabulous on the red carpet. Mind you we had to shave the back of his hands for the ring ceremony bit.”