An enterprising group of elderly ladies from Buxton believe they have hit upon a unique fund raising scheme by promising not to issue a nude calendar provided the public pledge sufficient funds for a refit of their day care centre.
Speaking in a quivery voice, Mavis Newberry, 83, told reporters they had hit upon the idea following a chance remark. ‘We were discussing whether to have another coffee morning or, perhaps, a whist drive when Betty said ‘everyone seems to be doing nude calendars to raise funds nowadays.’ Quick as a flash cheeky old Ernest Patterson quipped that he would ‘rather pay for us to keep our clothes on’, which sparked off the idea.’
In order to make the unsuspecting public realise that their threat of a nude calendar was real, the brave old dears went ahead and stripped for a photo shoot after obtaining sponsorship from steam iron manufacturers, Tefal. They then released a single advance publicity shot featuring 93 year old Maureen Willis, posing in her beloved Post Office pension queue as saucily as she could manage, with nothing more than a tartan shopping bag hanging from her Zimmer frame to cover the blushes of viewers.
Posters have been printed with the Maureen’s photo with the accompanying caption: ‘This is Grannie January. Unless you donate at least a fiver, another eleven Grannies will be unleashed before Christmas. You have been warned.’
The initial response was one of mild amusement followed by general revulsion; but once the true horror of the situation sunk in the donations started to roll in and the ladies are now optimistic of reaching their targets.
It is hoped that the OAPs’ idea will catch on nationally and it will soon become fashionable for groups not to issue nude calendars. Unfortunately, it is rumoured that a stage show is being written of the old girls' exploits, with Prunella Scales already pencilled in to play the part of Maureen.
