When you hear the word anonymous, what comes to mind? Some guy with no life who makes a living off of terrorizing our super efficient government of the people, some human being thing that wrote some obnoxiously stereo-typical poetic sentence and is thereby referred to as anonymous, or a dog without a collar? If you guessed “some guy with no life who makes a living off of terrorizing our super efficient government of the people” then you chose correctly.
Since the end of The War on Scientology, the terrorist organization known as “Anonymous” has grown both in number and popularity, mainly due to the advent of the internet. You may have heard of them more recently due to their involvement in numerous attacks on government websites over the arrest of the man simply known as “that one guy who made MegaUpload“. So the real question lies within the bigger question, and that question being, Is Anonymous really doing anything positive for anybody? Or is it just ruining the lives of millions and their internet browsing experience? Obviously, the answer is that Anonymous is killing god.
Historian, Any Mimis, PhD. says that “ in my opinion, the group called Anonymous is the single most dangerous organization since The Third Reich, and that’s a fact” he proves his point by noting the evolution of the group from internet trolls, to political activists, to a full fledged internet based revolutionary movement.
He points out that when Mega Upload was taken down last year, anonymous launched a series of retaliatory attacks against our government, mainly the Department of Justice. Mega upload was a criminal site used for stealing almost every kind of digital content you could think of. Why would they stand up for a criminal mastermind? Because they are like batman, but for bad guys. What kind of so called group of “freedom fighters” attacks their government for arresting a criminal? A group of criminals do.
Earlier in Anonymous’ near totalitarian rule of the internet, they became famous for their “War on Scientology”. That’s right, Anonymous hates Xenu, the fictional character created by L. Ron Hubbard. “The only reason anyone would want to defile the legendary works of a brilliant story teller, is because they simply hate everything, Anon hates me, they hate you, and they hate kittens.” claimed Ms. Mimis. Obviously, based on these clearly accurate facts, and the always true word of a historian, Anonymous is an organization built on hatred, and a love for that hatred.
Early on in 2007, Fox News declared that the group in question is an “Internet hate machine”. Its easy to see that Anon was never a group of people fighting for the freedom of others. It is a raging hate machine that lives and breathes to terrorize the weak children of Mother Earth. Since 2007, the group became more violent online and that is evident in their repeated attempts to cripple the United States Government (the perfect government which could be even better with more republicans).
But alas! We have a light in the darkness, our government is fighting back and doing so with the full might of the Environmental Protection Agency. When we interviewed the current head of the EPA, Lisa P. Jackson, we learned that the plan of attack was to “ just turn off the internet forever. These terrorists organize themselves using it, and are based in the realm of the world wide web. Plus all of the electricity that we use to connect to it [the internet] is super duper bad for the environment” she said. And although the environment is less important than making sure the “online terrorism” fad dies out, the EPA is still killing two birds with one rock. By turning off the internet, Americans will save millions of dollars per year on electricity, Anonymous will die out, and we can all return to our normal, non-wartime-on-the-internet lives. It sure sounds like a win/win scenario.
Anonymous has been proven over and over again to be the worst obstacle that society has ever had to hurdle, and while they are like a demonic combination of Joseph Kony and President Obama, their reign of terror is coming to an end. The world will be the peaceful, rage-free, pollution filled, palace of glutton that we all know and love once again. Order will be restored to the universe. And Mitt Romney will be elected in 2016. The dawn of the Anonymous-free world is upon us.
Where will you be when America kills the Anti-Christ?
*for more unbiased information and further reading on Anonymous, visit foxnews.com*