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Newsbiscuit virtual Secret Santa

(68 posts) (26 voices)

Started 5 months ago by ianslat
Latest reply from Squudge

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Psycadelic Squirrel

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Hmmm, remind me never to open one of NA's links on the work computer ever again. Good thing there was nobody passing...

Posted 5 months ago #
ianslat

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Could lead to a few questions if your other half sees your Amazon browsing history as well!

Posted 5 months ago #
butagirl

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Is it wrong that I really want a copy of "Vile Pervert"?

Posted 5 months ago #
Ironduke

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Jeee-heeee-zus, thanks Not Amused...I'd been struggling to think of a pressie for the mother-in-law...

Posted 5 months ago #
Psycadelic Squirrel

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Hey Ironduke, don't forget to include the special gloves you use at work. The nice long ones.

Posted 5 months ago #
charlies_hat

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Happy Paganritual

We should all have these by now

Posted 5 months ago #
Yikes

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But Charlie, those sunglasses are genuine ...

Posted 5 months ago #
Not Amused

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Yes, sorry, I should have put a warning against that link ! ... I love the title though and I have always imagined someone studying fine art at uni trying to explain what they would like to do for their thesis.

Posted 5 months ago #
Stan Laurel

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No one could fail to be delighted by one of these - just read the reviews.

Posted 5 months ago #
beau-jolly

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Perfect card

Posted 5 months ago #
Oxbridge

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http://www.amazon.com/Penetrating-Wagners-Ring-Anthology-Paperback/dp/0306804379/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

For the culturally inclined. It used to have a LOT more reviews than this.

Posted 5 months ago #
Not Amused

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Looking at the "customers who viewed this also viewed.. " section reveals something that I think I have to get
http://www.amazon.com/2009-2014-Outlook-Toilet-Seats-Greater/dp/B001SNVXYA/ref=pd_sim_sbs_b_17

(this is a safe link!)

Posted 5 months ago #
sigmund

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http://www.amazon.co.uk/Ultimate-Guide-Cunnilingus-Violet-Blue/dp/1573443875/ref=pd_sim_b_9
Never has the phrase ‘click to look inside' been so redolent.

Posted 5 months ago #
Sinnick

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Or the phrase "in depth guide".

Why does this need a book? How hard can it be ?

Posted 5 months ago #
Psycadelic Squirrel

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Do you think she'll mind if you ask her to hold the book and turn the pages for you? Cheaper than buying a book stand.

Posted 5 months ago #
Ironduke

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Hmmm. The book is advertised as the ULTIMATE guide...yet the eight items that 'customers also bought' are all other guides to cunnilingus in some form or another.

So...just how 'ultimate' can this book be, if other supporting reference texts are also required?

Posted 5 months ago #
dvo4fun

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"leading sex educator Violet Blue"

Yep - like I believe that name

"provides step-by-step instructions for going down on a woman, as well as accurate and up-to-date information on female anatomy"

Shit - has it changed over recent years?

@sinnick "Why does this need a book? How hard can it be ?" Presumably 'don't treat it like a chicken bone' would just about cover it.

Or maybe that says something about me ...

Got a view on this one Jeni?

Posted 5 months ago #
sigmund

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How hard can it be ?

Never quite hard enough, if some accounts can be believed.

I’ve always admired any woman who can hold her liquor - it takes a lot of upper body strength.

Perhaps this book goes into the topic in depth, without leaving a nasty taste in the mouth?

Posted 5 months ago #
Squudge

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Stan, the reviews on your offering are truly inspiring

Posted 5 months ago #
rikkor

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I would like to give my Christmas love a chicken that had no bone. And, some poultry Viagra.

Posted 5 months ago #
The All New Jeni B

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Yes dvo - never talk with your mouth full.

Rikkor, that's a bit fowl.

Posted 5 months ago #
Ironduke

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Dvo: 'Has it changed over the years?'

Yes. I believe they are inventing new zones, spots and other bits and bobs on a regular basis now.

Its very similar to having a new West Ham home kit out every two years. Some see it as a refreshing update on a favourite iconic image; others see it as cynical commercialism making you invest in an expensive new model when you'd really just prefer the vintage model (without the sponsor logo).

Posted 5 months ago #
dvo4fun

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You mean they're being sponsored now!?

Posted 5 months ago #
dvo4fun

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Ah, West Ham. I see now, forget the post above

Posted 5 months ago #
Ironduke

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righty-ho...I've got a cracking visual gag, I just need some claret and blue vajazzle jewels and Mrs Duke to enter deep, deep slumber.

Posted 5 months ago #
The All New Jeni B

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Jesus man, you're a vet!! You're bound to have a little something which will induce such sleep?!

***Edit*** Or even some pharms you could use.

Posted 5 months ago #
Ironduke

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Oh, could drop an angry shire horse with a jab no problem.

You haven't met Mrs Duke though, have you?

(Oh, and I get the 'sleep inducing little something' gag. Very good. Three years therapy out the window, but hey, it raised a titter. Sob.)

Posted 5 months ago #
sigmund

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I can’t find it anywhere, but I’d love to give a CD of Chas ’n’ Dave performing Schoenberg’s Gurrelieder to my mother-in-law.

Posted 5 months ago #
Idiot

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I'd forgotten about 'Phonemate Piggy Bell', bought for 50p in Tooting many years ago, and until now awaiting the perfect occasion to be donated to a worthy cause:

Posted 5 months ago #
The All New Jeni B

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What is it for?!

Posted 5 months ago #