Here's my effort
The story begins sometime during the Roman conquest of Britain....four young siblings Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy are evacuated from Londinium. They are sent to live with Captinus James T Kirkus an old warlock who lives in a country house near Keswick in Norfolk.
To keep the boisterous siblings quiet Captinus Kirkus feeds them a diet of magic mushrooms, rotten bananas and keeps them locked in a wardrobe.
Then one day, during a massive hallucinogenic trip brought on by a combination of Class A mushrooms and some chronic bananas, Lucy buys 100grams of pure, uncut swamp-cabbage from her imaginary friend Lenny, a ginger tomcat from Leon........
Lewis: ‘No...this just isn’t working out. Some of it’s OK and I quite like the characters but the plot needs working up a bit.
I’m tired and I need a good nights sleep....I’ll come back to it tomorrow....
So much for this stupid lucky gold earring’.
Lewis takes the earring from his ear and hurls it into the field at the bottom of his garden.