A recent study by psychologists and human profiling experts has revealed that men with penises are more and more at risk from the current witch hunting frenzy sweeping the UK in the search for sexual perverts. Penis ownership is increasing the fear of historically false allegations of sexual predation.
In a study undertaken by the Centre for Social Research men with penises are twice as likely as those without the necessary tackle to be singled out in historic claims of sexual abuse.
The situation is now driving more and more men to think deep and hard about past penis misuse.
The Study used algorithms to profile and predict if men with penises were most likely to have committed sex crimes or have the potential to do so. But, psycholgists failed to agree that the Study can determine future and potential criminal sexual behaviour.
Edith Schutzmann, a member of the CSR team said, “Our studies have profiled men with penises to detect mal-intent and we have found that possession of a penis does not necessarily point to actual sexual deviance. However we have found a lot of filthy minded old bastards who do regret lost opportunities.”
Ed Challenger, a member of one of the first pilot studies said, “As an eighty eight year old man with a penis I take strong exception to the notion that I am more likely to have committed an act of sexual deviance. I refuse to live in fear from potential accusations emanating from my days as a scout leader. The boys were always very happy in my charge and hopefully they have very short memories.”
A special helpline is now available for men with penises who may be concerned about the past catching up with them. 0845 696969