on the run for suspected murder spoke to reporters for the first time today after crossing the border into Guatamala in one of his many disguises to seek political asylum.Speaking from a small forth floor heavey barred window in one of Guatamalas many insane asylums,McAfee who for some reason only known to him had one eyebrow shaved off and a tampon hanging from his right nostral and a mouth full of what seemed to be bubblegum said this of his ordeal.Ive been framed I tell ya,I never shot nobody,I would have seen me if I had,both of me would,all six of us,anyway at the time of the said shooting I was in another room cleaning one of my guns,and straight after that if I remember correctly,I was hiding in the sand with a box on my head.Their all out to get me,you me him and the worm,youve gotta belive me,for god sake I cant take much more of this persecution its driving me crazy.Now Im in a safe place I can speak out,now Im here I can speak freely.Asked about how he managed to cross the border into Guatemala,McAfee who regards himself a master of disguise said,I simply cunningly shaved all my body hair off,got myself one of thoses adult nappies,brought a babies dummy,stole a trycycle from a three year old and simply peddled across into freedom.Ive hundreds of disguises,millions,I outwitted everyone in Belize,one of my best was I spent two days glueing thousands of feathers to myself from a duvet,then I stretched a pink rubber washing up glove onto the top of my head,donned a pair of knee high yellow socks,then hid out amoungst 3000 free range hens on a egg farm for nine days.I didnt do it I tell ya their all out to get me,Then there was the time I disguised myself as a hat stand,just sorta stood realy still in a lock up garage with my arms stuck up in the air like this see?with a hat on each and a unberella hanging off my elbows.Then after that I had a leg surgicaly removed,got a crutch and a stuffed parrot,kept shouting ha harrr me heartys,stained my teeth green and eh put a box on my head,fooled everyone.Then another time I simply cut a small bit off a black comb,stuck it under my nose with a piece of bubblgum,raised my right arm like this and just goose stepped my way through the Belize countryside like this look?oh you cant see from down there can you?......who the hell are you people anyway?
Sixty seven year old software tycoon John McAfee
(3 posts) (3 voices)
Is 1 star worse than 0 stars? If it is I will give this one.
Possibly genius but I couldn't be arsed to read it all.
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