The BBC has recently confirmed that the announcement of the long-overdue pregnancy of Kate Middleton has ensured that there there will be no other news "for the next week or so".
Recent stories including the fallout from the Jimmy Savile scandal, Starbucks implementing new tax regulations and the possibly fatal dangers of dental X-Ray machines have all been placed 'on hold' while the birth of our future possible monarch is fully reported.
"We've got a lot planned" confirmed a BBC spokesman, "For the first couple of days, we intend to have a lot of talking heads discussing the huge impact this child will have on the country with Royal experts drilling in the fact that she'll be third in line to the throne as well as endless shots of William and Kate's wedding. After that we'll be speaking to the public and asking them for name suggestions as we patiently wait for shots of the Duchess leaving hospital. Finally, we intend to climax with a CGI approximation of what the baby will look like."
When asked about the importance of other stories in the news at the moment, the BBC spokeman shrugged and muttered "Stuff like that is hardly in the public interest at the moment. We'll possibly cover it at 2am or something."
Sky is due to confirm a similar plan in the next few hours, and Kay Burley is reported to be interviewing William with questions about the couple's sex life. The Daily Express is also printing a special edition tomorrow with the headline 'DIANA WOULD HAVE LOVED A GRANDCHILD (IF SHE HADN'T BEEN MURDERED)'.