Starbucks is to counter bad publicity about its corporate greed with a series of meaningful events that will engage the public with their favourite coffee brand, culminating in a photo opportunity featuring a giant cardboard cheque, made payable to HMRC.
Details of the events remain a closely guarded secret, but insiders have hinted that we can expect a series of spectacular headline grabbing initiatives. In once incident a drowning woman could be rescued by a Starbucks executive in a central London venue (possibly The Thames, weather permitting). In another stunt, an ordinary Starbucks worker could be seen giving a relative a lift to hospital, after a minor shunt. This event could be reported, in a friendly newspaper, with the headline "Starbucks hero in horror crash mercy dash". The timing of the press release has yet to be finalised, but sources say it will be issued "on a slow news day".
A number of other wacky events are planned to show the human side of Britain's favourite coffee brand. The interiors of the shop will be redesigned, with signs worded in authentic looking mock handwriting. A social media guru has been appointed, with plans for a series of whacky viral videos featuring a left wing comedian with a massive student following. Barry Naff, who hosts the legendary "Inside the Morgue" comedy club, is rumoured to have been approached.
The climax of the campaign, however, is expected to be more traditional. Britain's favourite coffee brand plans to donate a cheque to Her Majesty's Revenue and Customs. "Once again, Starbucks has played a blinder," said digital media guru Penny Hutchins of Global Solutions. "They've leveraged a tax paying problem into a massive marketing solution. This will really impress the young gullible brand conscious community, who are so vital to the coffee industry.
How much will Starbucks be donating per cup? "A bit, but not a latte" quipped an insider.