Researchers at the Frank Spencer Institute of Comedy Studies have released a study showing that jokes about global warming during bouts of freezing cold and rainy weather have reached dangerous levels.
Al Jones, who specialises in comedy change, says instruments placed throughout UK pubs and workplaces recorded the 1,000,000th example of the ‘and they call this global warming’ joke only a couple of days into winter.
‘You have to go back to the Ice Age, when the ‘it’s hot - not’ joke was all the rage, for a similar spike’ said Mr Jones. ‘If left unchecked, these winter global warming jokes could cause so much uncontrolled hilarity that the ice caps would melt and small islands of Jimmy Savile jokes could cease to exist. The rise in water levels could see yet more hosepipe ban jokes – it’s a vicious circle.’
Mr Jones said urgent action was needed to address the problem: ‘A knob joke offset scheme would be a good start – would-be global warming jokers would have to purchase credits from knob joke sinks such as Frankie Boyle and Jimmy Carr. And joking about the cold weather while driving 4WD vehicles should be banned except in emergencies - such as taking the kids to school.’
Not everyone is convinced that winter global warming jokes are a serious problem. Comedy change deniers point to a study published in German comedy research magazine ‘No Laughing Matter’ that saw no evidence of any winter global warming jokes at all.
Mr Jones dismisses the naysayers saying: ‘the problem with putting your head in the sand is that someone will kick you up the arse - or put an ice lolly there to see if it melts. Oh, was that a global warming joke? Frankie … Jimmy, can you help?