The world of motorsport was left reeling last night as news emerged that ex England and Lancashire cricketer Andrew Fintoff was disqualified from taking part in The British Grand Prix at Silverstone last summer after failing a breathalyser test which revealed he was 6 times over the legal drink drive limit during the formation lap.
Speaking from FIA headquarters in France, F1 Supremo Bernie Ecclestone said last night. "In all my 97 years in motorsport I've never known anything like it. The man was absolutely blotto! I should have realised something wasn't quite right when he put his arm round me on the grid and said I was his best mate I suppose"
Race officials were alerted to Flintoff's condition when his onboard camera showed him blowing a party squeaker from beneath his visor on the dummy grid . He was also picked up calling his race engineer a "fuckin' bashta" over his radio link and telling his pit crew that he was going to "tek the fuckin' lot of yersh" if they didn't put him on the soft compound intermediate tyre around lap 27.
Flintoff had to be physically dragged from his Ferrari in the pit lane and restrained by marshalls as he tried to assault race director Charlie Whiting who was trying to stop him from grabbing a grid girls tits.
Flintoff 61, was in defiant mood when he faced reporters at his local last night. "I'm not going to let this small setback deter me from my life goals" he claimed. "I fully intend to make a complete nob of myself in as many sports as I can before I get too old to give a decent account of myself. I've been a competitor and a winner all my life and I dont intend to stop accepting new and exciting challenges just yet."
He then vomited over the shoes of a woman on the next bar stool after putting his arm around her shoulder and telling her that "I love my fuckin' kidsh I do!"
According to his agent Flintoff now plans to partner Wayne Rooney up front for Man Utd and take part in the 2016 Olympics in Brazil as a member of the ladies synchronised swimming team.