Hot off the heels of their $4bn purchase of Lucasfilm, Disney have snapped up the rights to the entire Haynes car repair manual series for £759 following a fraught eBay auction earlier today.
Disney spokesperson Achike Mawse claimed that they plan to release a movie for each of the manuals, and create a separate franchise using multiple manual stars in "The Haynes Amass" in which a Ford Fiesta, a Landrover Discovery and a Toyota Aygo meet up every three or four years to thwart poor maintenance practice by car owners across the globe, in 3D.
The first of the manuals to hit the big screen will be a radical interpretation of the 2001 best seller "Peugeot 206 Petrol and Diesel Service and Repair Manual: 1998 to 2001". Director Lars von Trier has been signed up to direct, and is already agonising over how to overcome the manual's now infamous exclusion of 16-valve petrol engine models (XSi, GTi & Grand Tourisme), and how to keep within the austere and very Danish constraints of the 'Dogme 95 manifesto'.
Rumours that Kiwi director Peter Jackson has bought the rights to take Hansard 1876-1950 to the big screen in six gripping 3 hour instalments are thought to be wildly speculative and very likely false.
(needs input... is CollieP still active?)