A study into cod science has found conclusive proof that divining rods can detect mentals with an accuracy of 98%.
Until now, fish wives and pagans have largely been dismissed by the wider scientific community, particularly since the theory of 'cows laying down before rainfall' was debunked with a control group of lazy hefers.
But to virtually no-one's surprise, a field study found that nearly everyone who looks for water with a pair of tree-sourced wooden things is at least an impermeable layer short of an aquifer.
"My mum always said that some day they'd prove there was something in this", beamed Arthur Hobgoblin, clutching an old wooden coat-hanger and spattered with Bovril. "And to think that the naysayers thought she couldn't see the future, just by licking a sack-load of badgers."