Nick Adler, an astronaut onboard the Atlantis shuttle, which recently completed its final mission, has expressed concern that he may have unwittingly left loads of his stuff on the International Space Station.
“It hadn’t really dawned on me that we wouldn’t be coming back,” said Adler, “I’ve left all sorts of shit up there, and now I’m worried that Russians or the French or whoever is up there next are going to be going through all my stuff. It totally sucks.”
Shuttle pilot Dan Lipowski repeatedly ignored demands from Adler to ‘turn this thing around and head back’.
Liposwki said, “If it had been something really important like house keys or a photo of his kids then sure I’d have abandoned re-entry, but he’s talking about a couple of paperbacks, a T-shirt and the docking bay for his iPod. They‘re like, what, a dollar fifty?”
Adler denies it is anything so trivial, “That’s bullshit, I had way more stuff than that, and that docking bay was like $40, so he’s talking out his space ass.”
A spokesperson for NASA said, “On long and complicated missions things do occasionally get overlooked or misplaced. We have listened to Nick’s complaints but it’s like a $100million dollars every time we sent shit up there, and we just can’t dick about with launching these Orbiters just because some putz left comics and socks behind.
“I’ve called the Russians, who are due up there in a couple of months, and they’ve promised to stick anything they find in an envelope and mail it to us. Beyond that that I’m not sure what else we can do?”
However, Adler remains convinced that he has forgotten even more important stuff. He said, “Now that I come to think of it weren’t there six of us? Has anyone seen Steve?”