The Storm of the Century changed everything. And no, not the winds and waves that wreaked havoc all along the East Coast, but the November tempest that sent Hostess Brands reeling into bankruptcy. Chris Christie, once the Great White Hope of the Republican Party, is said to be marshalling his political forces for a defection to the Democrats.
The formal announcement is expected to come on Monday.
A source close to the Governor reported that Christie’s recent, unpublicized attempt to save Hostess employees from the breadlines is what finally sealed the deal. “Union hating Romneyite Republicans were the reason this thing went south,” she said. “You take away his Twinkies and you’ve got a whale of a problem on your hands.”
According to mentor and long-time political advisor, Bruce Springsteen, Christie’s belief in Global Warming and antipathy to fossil fuels have clearly put him at odds with his party; but this was [i]not the impetus for his decision to embrace the Obama regime. “No, man, dude was born in the USA, he’s one of us, always was.”
When asked for comment, Republican strongman Carl Rove doubled down on his election night reluctance to accept an Obama victory in Ohio: “Really hope Chris is not leaving us on the beach. Kind of early to tell, let’s just wait and see.”
So what does this mean for the two parties? Who will the Republicans dig up to fill the void? And how will the Democrats harness this force of nature?
One thing is for certain, there will be one less enormous mouth to feed at the 2016 National Republican Convention. That might be a major upside for the RNC.