Health Minister Jeremy Hunt has released proposals for making psychiatric patients contribute towards the cost of their care, as part of his drive to put the NHS on a profitable basis. The new scheme, which has yet to be formally named, would see inmates in asylums required to sell sexual services in exchange for credits, which could be exchanged for medicinal drugs or psychotherapy. “Many of these people are pretty much set up for it,” said Mr. Hunt. “Heavily sedated and tied to their beds, it seems sensible to allow members of the public to have their way with them for cash. After all, they’re already mad, so it’s not like it will make things any worse. We toyed with the idea of calling the scheme ‘fund-a-mental’, but we think this might upset the Muslims. Any ideas?”
Wary of putting this ‘out there’ in case the bastard thinks it’s a good idea. Don’t suppose he reads this stuff, though.