Chelsea football club owner Roman Abramovich, the man who can’t stop sacking managers, was at it again today as he brutally dismissed Rafa Benitez following Sunday’s disappointing 0-0 draw with Manchester City. “I gave Rafa a fair crack of the whip, but he let me down and I don’t tolerate failure.”
A well-placed source inside the business tycoon’s intimate circle has let it be known his next acquisition target is none other than Manchester United football club. “Roman’s plan is very simple” said the source “he is going to buy Man United, sack Alex Ferguson, then re-employ him as Chelsea manager. As soon as Fergie doesn’t win a game he is going to sack him again.”
Ace soccer pundit Mark Lawrenson’s reaction summed up how many people feel: “The world’s gone mad Gary, completely bonkers. He's caused the Chelsea defence no amount of problems, but as I’ve always said, a football pitch has two halves, half of one and six a dozen of the other. They didn't change positions, they just moved the players around and Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field.”