With the revelations of the treatment handed out in Guantanamo Bay, Mushtaq Al-Hambrir, 79, has spoken to one of our reporters. "Guantanamo Bay was a holiday camp" he sighs "and still they bleat like goats giving birth. I was captured in the Sinai in 1973 and had 2 years in the hands of Mossad. That was torture. Once, they covered my gentleman in honey and left me on a red ants nest for five days. It left me with a permanent cock ring" he smiles as one of his 28 children greets him "we used to be made to run in circles for hours at a time, if we fell over they would whip us with an Egyptian Adder until we started running again. Sleep depravation?? That's no torture
As for suicide bombing, supposedly dreamt up by Arta El-Harris, where is the teamwork, comradeship and loyalty to your fellow troops? Just disappear into the night and poof! Piles of washing left undone, unpaid bar bills everywhere"
"Kids, cah!"