Prisoner's rights organisations were jubilant last night after the European parliament decreed that law breakers in the United Kingdom can no longer be incarcerated as this could be deemed as "cruel and excessive punishment" and a breach of their human rights under European law.
A spokesman for the prisoner's action group Jailmate spoke to reporters using his phonecard from HMP Dartmoor, where he's serving a 25 year sentence for a series of violent assaults on elderly women.
"This is a red letter day, not just for myself but for convicted felons everywhere. Personally speaking I cant wait to get home and stick my feet up in front of the telly, as the signal I get in my cell is absolutely diabolical lately. I had to turn the sound right up the other day to hear the footie commentary on ESPN"
The Home Secretary responded to the ruling in an emergency sitting in The Commons late last night in which he told a packed house.
"While the government have a number of concerns with regards to this ruling we would like to reassure the public that all necessary steps will be taken to ensure their safety and that any prisoner likely to be a public danger such as art forgers and single mothers who can't pay their council tax will under no circumstances be allowed to walk free"
It's understood that prison gates across the country will be opened in time for Christmas so that freed inmates can familiarise themselves with life on the outside before breaking into peoples house's and taking all their presents.