Following the success of ‘Movember’, Nick Clegg has become the latest high profile figure to sign up for ‘Manuary’, a new charity event in which leading political figures will spend a month growing the characteristics of a normal human being.
A spokeswoman for the organising charity Courage, which provides support services to people with severe credibility issues stated, ‘We’re delighted to have Nick on board. Britain has a growing problem with spinelessness, particularly in the Westminster area, so getting him signed up is a real coup for us.’
It’s not yet clear what exactly Mr Clegg will be doing to help grow his new spine, but rumours suggest that he may be undertaking such activities as calling Andrew Lansley ‘The Right Honourable Bell End’ every time he tries to speak in cabinet, continually waving a chocolate éclair just out of arms reach of Eric Pickles, and actually standing up for something that he believes in for once in his life.
A Lib Dem source spoke enthusiastically about the deputy prime minister’s involvement,
‘A lot of people will be surprised, but Nick did once have a backbone. Sometime in the mid Eighties I think. It’s going to be fascinating to see how it works out for him. Who knows, if it goes well he may even grow a pair of balls too.’
Other big names already signed up to the scheme include Chancellor George Osbourne, who will finally be growing a chin, George Galloway who will be cultivating a sense of humility and perspective, and Samantha Cameron who already has a massive penis.
