Following the recent vote on women bishops, the Archbishop of Canterbury the right reverend Maximus Beard has turned to an unlikely ally. After many hours of praying for inspiration about how to circumvent rules you don't like he decided in desperation to contact the International Tax Department of Amazon.Well - it didn't take those crafty out-of-the-box thinkers long to come up with a morally repugnant but borderline legal solution. All potential women bishops should undergo gender re-assignment and declare themselves men. They will then be eligible for appointment and, once elevated to the desired position, can then revert to their original status. Costs of surgery will be borne by the NHS.
Initial responses from female clergy have been positive - "I'd rather suffer a few weeks of discomfort than five more years in the wilderness" said one anonymous potential bishopess. The Archbishop was also fulsome in his praise for Amazon "I don't begrudge the €10m cost of the advice (billed of course from Luxembourg)" said Maximus Beard. A spokesman for Amazon Mr Machiavelli said "we are happy to be of service to deserving causes and we are even happier with our tax-free fee".
The lay section of the Synod was unavailable for comment but they are believed to be in discussions with Google and Starbucks to see what can be done.
