The football world was sensationally rocked to its core today as the saviour of English football, Russian millionnaire Roman Obramivitch called it a day and fired himself.
As a very generous gesture he gave away Chelsea Football Club to the fans to run.
Speaking exclusively to Jeff Stelling and thousands of other sports reporters, Mr ibramhimavic said: “Geoff, I’ve given it my all, but with my track record I deserve to go. At the end of the day it’s winning that counts and I just haven’t done enough of it on a regular basis. Any manager who doesn’t win at least 2 out of 3 games I sack immediately and now it’s my turn. It just goes to show money can’t buy you love, only the power to buy, sell and sack.
“Football’s a funny old game though, but as the price of failure I have decided to sack myself and buy back the club from the fans. Next season I am going to buy every club and football player in the world to ensure I at last win every trophy, so don’t worry.”
TalkShit’s listeners and advertising rates skyrocketed as the news spread.