The Royal Hospital Chelsea has announced the opening of a brand new wing for sacked Chelsea managers who have suffered the despotic rule of Russian oligarchs and betrayal by board members and comrades.
Founded in 1682 by King Charles II to provide soldiers with a fitting home in their retirement, the Hospital has now branched out to assist football managers to help them ‘leave the stresses of life behind.’
A spokesman for the Chelsea Pensioners said, “The Royal Hospital is proud to continue to serve its original purpose into the 21st Century but also recognises that Chelsea managers too could benefit from the security and care which we provide. The new wing will be called the 'Roman Abramowich Wing' after a generous donation from the Club.“
The Hospital is already home to former Chelsea Manager, Andre Villas-Boas who joined them for a period of respite care following his sacking in March. “Since 2003, the year Mr Abramovich took over the Club, we have provided short stays for at least 5 former managers. We envisage many more to come over the next few years hence the necessity for the brand new wing. To make managers feel even more at home the revolving doors at the entrance to the new wing are a replica of those in the management suite at Chelsea FC.”
An application for care has now been received from the latest casualty, Roberto Di Matteo who was fired on Wednesday after leading his team to the brink of becoming the first defending champions eliminated from the group stage.
A statement was issued from Chelsea today, "The team's recent performances and results have not been good enough and the owner and the board felt that a change was necessary now to keep the club moving in the right direction. We are proud to support the Royal Hospital Chelsea in this way and look forward to a long and happy association.”
Roberto di Matteo was unavailable for comment, however it is understood he has requested that the Hospital paints his room in any colour but blue.